Welcome to Polly's Blog

Welcome to Polly's Blog
Watercolour, humour, this and that

Saturday 28 June 2014

ANNIE ARKWRIGHT v. SERENA WILLIAMS

Annie Arkwright from Accrington, Lancashire v. Serena Williams from t'other side of  Th'Atlantic.

Annie's looking a bit pale.  Hasn't used her spray tan as the rules at Wimbledon are 'predominently white' hence her delicate skin colour!

Annie, looking resplendent in white, is sponsored, not by Nike and it's famous tick (pronounced Nighkey), but by Nookey and a reverse tick, with a gold A above.  She was wearing designer clothes by the famous fashion designer Pri Mark, and specially made shoes from S Melly.  The racquet by Dunflop.


Annie lost 6-0, 6-1.  The crowd went bonkers when she won a game, against all the odds.  First 15-0 was when she served an ace just as Serena Williams's nicker elastic snapped, 30-0 another ace as Serena was hitching up her dress, 40-0 when Serena's bra strap broke (who then threw a strop) and the winning shot,
was when Annie unleashed a storming forehand, just as Serena was picking her nose - that'll teach her!

When interviewed by a Lancashire Sports Reporter, called Sue Darker, she beamed "It were a reet grand game.  I could see the fear in 'er eyes!  I could'a won.  I blame it on me big brekkie.  Eggs, bacons, sausages and three rounds of bread fried in dripping.  I'll be fitter next year - I'll leave out a slice of bacon".

Annie Arkwright shot to fame for going from a  staid librarian to a red basque exotic dancer, after reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  You can read more about her if you click on the label Friends of Mine.  

17 comments:

  1. Only from you, Polly,I can read and see all this!
    With humor and irony with you, with your painting, true moments of smile are guaranteed!

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    1. I am very glad I made you smile, Dear Rita. But Annie wasn't smiling!

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  2. I can see you take your tennis very seriously Polly LOL

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    1. Actually I DO take it extremely seriously, so there!

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  3. Aw poor Annie, just wasn't to be her day!! Never mind, maybe she needs to work towards the Commonwealth games next... trip to Glasgow may be just what she needs, can see her excelling in the triple jump and pole vault!!

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  4. ohhh this was great....what a gooood laugh...thanks!!!

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  5. Brilliant post Polly ... I've missed Annie.
    By the way ... is she going to bid for 'the' famous Athena Tennis Dress which is being auctioned on 5th July? The poster of the girl scratching her 'b*m' which became a best selling Athena poster .... I reckon it would suit Annie reet well!

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    1. I'll pass on that information to her Sue. Trouble is it won't be big enough for her. Perhaps she could sew in pink panels in the sides.

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  6. There is a great writer hidden inside you Polly, hilarious post :-))) The watercolor is wonderfully funny and very well done :-))

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  7. You made my day Polly. What a tennis game! Annie has every right to be proud. You did a smashing job with this one. But she hasn't met with Eugénie Bouchard yet! Ha Ha !! :)

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    1. Bouchard is not as pretty as Annie though ha ha

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  8. Aw Annie - just seems to meet with moments of misfortune - but her wonderful spirit still comes forth - thanks so much for making me smile. Have a delightful day.

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    1. So pleased you have sympathy with her. One day things may go well for her.

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