ANNIE ARKWRIGHT v. SERENA WILLIAMS

Annie Arkwright from Accrington, Lancashire v. Serena Williams from t'other side of  Th'Atlantic.

Annie's looking a bit pale.  Hasn't used her spray tan as the rules at Wimbledon are 'predominently white' hence her delicate skin colour!

Annie, looking resplendent in white, is sponsored, not by Nike and it's famous tick (pronounced Nighkey), but by Nookey and a reverse tick, with a gold A above.  She was wearing designer clothes by the famous fashion designer Pri Mark, and specially made shoes from S Melly.  The racquet by Dunflop.

Annie lost 6-0, 6-1.  The crowd went bonkers when she won a game, against all the odds.  First 15-0 was when she served an ace just as Serena Williams's nicker elastic snapped, 30-0 another ace as Serena was hitching up her dress, 40-0 when Serena's bra strap broke (who then threw a strop) and the winning shot,

was when Annie unleashed a storming forehand, just as Serena was picking her nose - that'll teach her!

When interviewed by a Lancashire Sports Reporter, called Sue Darker, she beamed "It were a reet grand game.  I could see the fear in 'er eyes!  I could'a won.  I blame it on me big brekkie.  Eggs, bacons, sausages and three rounds of bread fried in dripping.  I'll be fitter next year - I'll leave out a slice of bacon".

Annie Arkwright shot to fame for going from a  staid librarian to a red basque exotic dancer, after reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  You can read more about her if you click on the label Friends of Mine.